


Ad Meliora

by TwilightKnight17



Series: How to Kill a God [7]
Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Akira is a heathen, Gen, Literal Sleeping Together, Major P5R Spoilers, Palace Deadline Ending, Recovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-08
Updated: 2021-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-12 10:27:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,898
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28633980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwilightKnight17/pseuds/TwilightKnight17
Summary: Six months is a long time.Akira learns what he's missed and what he's lost.And what Goro's end goal is.
Relationships: Akechi Goro & Kurusu Akira
Series: How to Kill a God [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1967740
Comments: 13
Kudos: 96





	Ad Meliora

**Author's Note:**

> This is my one-hundredth posted fic on AO3! :D

The single kind thing that Maruki had done was ensure that Akira was essentially in stasis for the six months that he’d been asleep. He hadn’t wasted away to nothing without food, water, or exercise. But it did mean that now that he was awake, he was ravenous. By the time they were safely back in Goro’s apartment, Akira was practically shaking, and Goro helped him onto the couch.

“Lavenza,” he requested, “go in the fridge and get a bottle of water and one of your pudding cups for him. I’m going to order food.”

Akira watched Lavenza hurry towards the fridge without complaint, then blinked up at Goro. “ _Her_ pudding cups? You bought her pudding?”

Goro sighed heavily. “You keep focusing on the wrong things. Pudding cups and swearing, honestly.”

“I’m just surprised you’re being so nice. Good to know you like kids.” Akira cracked a faint smile.

As Lavenza returned with the requested items, Goro shoved them into Akira’s hands. “Shut up and eat your pudding cup before your zero blood sugar kills you.” He pulled out his phone and disappeared down the hall. He needed to call for takeout before this moron’s body caught up with the present.

Lavenza hopped up on the couch beside Akira. “Knight has been very kind to me,” she said, her voice fond. “We have been working together to figure out how to stop the benevolent god and awaken you. And… he has been indulging my curiosity about the real world, especially different foods.”

“That is kind.” Akira opened the pudding cup, realized he didn’t have a spoon, and started trying to drink it. “He was probably happy to have the company, even if he didn’t say it. Thank you for staying with him.”

“Of course. I am committed to both of you.”

Akira slurped up more pudding, then opened the water and downed half the bottle in one go. After he wiped his mouth, he asked, “So how are you here like this? You were having trouble manifesting in the real world before, and you were a butterfly on the way here.”

Lavenza smiled. “The apartment has attained enough of the cognition of ‘safe room’ that I may manifest completely for longer periods, though it is still not easy,” she explained. “And though he may not admit it, the fact that the apartment’s occupant wants me around most likely also helps.”

Footsteps heralded Goro’s return, though he faltered a bit when he saw Akira trying to eat pudding without a spoon. Visibly choosing to ignore that, he said, “I ordered takeout. Nikudon. You,” he pointed at Akira, “need something filling.”

Akira ran his tongue around the inside of the plastic cup, then set the empty container on the coffee table. “Thanks… While we wait for that, can you explain what I missed?”

Goro came over to sit beside him. “It hasn’t been much, honestly.”

There was something… unnerving about having to tell Akira _everything_ , so Goro skipped over the beginning and instead started with something more reasonable: trying to charm his way past Sojiro. “I figured there had to be a reason why he didn’t want me in the attic. There was always an excuse. But he finally let his guard down. It had been three months, by that point, and after I found you and realized something was wrong… I told Maruki I’d take the world back, no matter how long it took.”

“But the fusion with Mementos is permanent,” Akira said. “Isn’t it?”

“Not… necessarily,” Lavenza said. “It will no longer revert on its own, but someone with power over reality could revert things back to how they were.”

“So we could convince Dr. Maruki to fix things?” Akira perked up some, and Goro scowled.

“There’s no negotiating with that lunatic. He’s too deep in his own distorted worldview.”

Akira bit his lip. “He thinks he’s making everyone happy.”

Goro looked down at his lap. “...I started trying to weaken his hold on reality by making people unhappy. Some small things. Some larger things. Maruki could undo it all, but it took time away from him expanding his influence. And eventually…” He hesitated. “I went to Sakamoto’s birthday party and asked them all where you were. All of them thought they’d heard from you. They were just… completely oblivious. Useless. And then I managed to summon Loki, and that asshole _took you_...”

Leaning over, Akira caught a clenched fist in his hands. Goro almost wanted to shake him off, but he let Akira do as he wanted, and slowly Akira coaxed his hand open to rub against his palm and asked, “That’s why we were in the Palace. Right?”

“Right. I had to get you back, so he couldn’t use you against me.” Goro laughed bitterly. “We both know he’s not above that.”

Akira had no response to that. But he just sat there quietly, Goro’s hand held between both of his, until the doorbell rang and Goro had to go grab their food. He’d even gotten a child-sized portion for Lavenza, and it was almost a peaceful dinner as they crowded around Goro’s kitchen table. Two Wild Cards, and the little girl determined to help them in any way she could.

Eventually, even well-fed, Lavenza had to leave, and she informed Akira very sternly that he needed to still be there in the morning, or she would not be responsible for her actions. Akira promised, and that left the two of them alone in Goro’s apartment. Goro had… no idea how to proceed. For once, he hadn’t thought this far ahead. Akira needed rest and care, and Goro… was not the best host.

“I don’t have a spare room,” he said, keeping his voice level. “I apologize for that. I do have clothes that you can borrow, and you can take my room for tonight.”

Akira blinked at him, then reached up to rub the back of his neck sheepishly. “I don’t want to put you out of your bed… I can take the couch. It’s fine. I probably won’t sleep much anyway, if I’ve been asleep for six months.”

One of Akira’s other friends might have been lulled by his carefree tone, but Goro knew him better than that. “That wasn’t a proper sleep in the slightest. You need to take care of yourself. I have no idea how being awake is going to affect you.” He grinned crookedly. “Or is a real bed too much for you to handle, attic trash?”

“Goro!” Akira spluttered. “Fine, fine, I’ll take the bed. Your couch is probably rigged to launch unwanted guests anyway.”

“What?” Goro laughed. “Idiot. Hush, and I’ll find you something to wear.”

As he headed into his room to find a spare shirt and lounge pants, he acknowledged that he probably wasn’t going to sleep much, either. He needed to think about what they were going to do next. This apartment was safe, but there were no guarantees what would happen if they went out, or returned to the Palace. Maruki couldn’t be happy with this development. He didn’t think Maruki would try to directly, physically hurt Akira, or him, but… he couldn’t be sure anymore.

He’d just gotten Akira back. He wasn’t going to let anything else happen to him now.

***

Goro’s bed was nice, and his pillows smelled of vanilla and… was that what sandalwood smelled like? That’s what the bottle in the shower had said, but Akira didn’t really know. He was just taking a guess. Because his other option was to stare up at the ceiling, head empty, because he couldn’t sleep. Contemplating the fancy shampoo Goro used was as good a use of his time as any.

He’d figured this was going to happen. Regardless of how tired he felt, he couldn’t settle enough to sleep. There was too much of everything running in circles in his head. Six months, trapped in his own head, having the same conversations over and over… It was a wonder his cognitive Goro hadn’t thrown him into the fishing pond out of sheer frustration.

And now…

And now.

Akira dragged himself out of bed. Laying there wasn’t getting him anywhere. He’d get a drink or something, and then try to sleep again.

But when he cracked open the door and padded down the hall, he found Goro sitting up on the couch, dull red eyes reflecting the light of the TV. He immediately decided that he didn’t want water anymore, and changed directions towards the couch.

“Couldn’t sleep either?” he asked, and Goro glanced over at him.

“No.” He hesitated, then lifted the edge of his blanket and turned back to the TV. “You can stay here for now, if you want.”

Akira took the offer, tucking himself in beside Goro. “I can’t stop thinking,” he admitted. “About… everything. Everyone.” He huddled into himself. “I realized that I didn’t thank you. For coming to get me. Thanks for not… leaving me like that.”

Goro didn’t take his eyes off the TV, but it was clear he wasn’t watching. “I couldn’t. It was terrible, seeing you like that. And then to know that that _bastard_ was holding you hostage… He said it was to keep you safe, but I don’t know what he would have done to you if I’d kept wrecking Tokyo.”

“I don’t think he would have hurt me,” Akira said. “I don’t think he’s a bad person. His methods are bad, but he has good intentions.” Healing people was a noble goal. It was what they had done with Futaba, after all. But Futaba had _asked_ for help. They hadn’t made any decisions for her. Maruki’s desire to help was genuine, but it didn’t give him the right to decide for others what would make them happy.

But Goro snarled, finally shifting to look right at Akira. “He had the nerve to _use me against you_ ,” he spat. “He’s the one who granted your fucking wish; he knew exactly what he was doing. He knew that you weren’t aware of the circumstances of my return. And so he used _my life_ as leverage to try to make you surrender. Because he knew that nothing would be enough to shake your resolve, except…” He trailed off, scowling. “And when you couldn’t make a decision, because he’d engineered an impossible choice, he went one step further, to make sure that you had _no_ chance to choose the outcome that didn’t favor him.”

“That’s…” Akira began.

“Do you know what he did to me?” Goro snapped, and Akira realized he was shaking. “He wasn’t _merciful_ enough to put me to sleep like you. I woke up the day after the world ended to everyone pretending like nothing was wrong. Even you. He made some kind of… fake copy of you, trying to keep me complacent. And every day… Every single day, it tried to convince me that everything was fine! That we would be okay! It was okay with the idea of running away and abandoning all of your friends, because it claimed that I was the most important thing! More important than your friends, more important than the world, it wanted _me!_ It wanted us to be _together!_ ”

In the bluish glow of the TV, Goro’s eyes glittered an inky, impossible purple, dark like a storm cloud as tears gathered. “I had to kill it,” he said hollowly. “I had to fucking shoot it; I couldn’t stand it anymore. It wasn’t you. It was a hideous puppet of something he thought I wanted. I had to tell it that we could go, that we could run away, and when it led the way, I put a bullet through the back of its head.” He shook his head furiously. “And I didn’t know for sure if I was right! I just knew it wasn’t you! But if it was manipulation instead of some actualized doll, if I was wrong about what he had done, I would have… I would have…”

Akira scooted closer, carefully winding his arms around Goro’s waist under the blanket and tucking his head into the crook of Goro’s neck. “You didn’t,” he murmured. “I’m okay. I’m here, because you knew that something was wrong, and you never gave up on me. You _saved_ me.”

Goro took a deep, shuddering breath, and his arms gradually wrapped around Akira in return, one hand cradling the back of his head. And then he said, deadly calm in a way that Akira had never heard him before, “I want to kill him. I’m _going_ to kill him.”

To that, Akira said nothing, still and quiet in Goro’s arms. He’d wanted to believe that Maruki wasn’t a bad person at his core, but after hearing the last few things that had transpired while he’d been asleep… A fake version of Akira would have been the last thing Goro wanted. Maruki knew that; he knew how Goro felt about the ideal reality. And yet he’d done it anyway. He’d caused Goro so much mental anguish…

As if it were a punishment.

And there would be no punishment waiting for him. Even if they could put reality back to normal, they couldn’t change Maruki’s heart. Their chance had come and gone. He wasn’t going to confess, and even if by some miracle he _did_ , what would happen to him? People didn’t go to jail for trying to become god. No one would believe any of this.

And he’d never heard Goro say that he _wanted_ to kill someone before.

“...I want to talk to him,” Akira murmured. “Before we end things. But… if he answers like I think he will…” The words were heavy on his tongue, but he said them anyway. “If he does, then I won’t stop you.”

Goro went very still, and then he held Akira tighter, his fingers gentle in his hair. “...you won’t?”

“No.” Akira knew the significance of what he’d said. But he was so tired. Suddenly it was getting harder to keep his eyes open. He decided not to try, settling further against Goro with a sigh. Goro was saying something, but he couldn’t really hear him, and the last thing he remembered was a soft brush against his forehead.

***

Goro woke up to the sounds of a morning talk show filtering quietly from the TV, his ice maker completing a cycle in the fridge, and the soft breathing of the boy currently asleep on his chest. Akira, like the terrible human-form cat he was, had fallen asleep on him, leaving him unable to move, and they’d ended up both spending the night on the couch. If this was going to be the outcome, they might as well have shared the bed.

Akira stirred, brow furrowing, a terrified whimper slipping from his lips. It spurred Goro to run his fingers through his hair, working through loose tangles, and Akira shivered as his eyes fluttered open. He took a second to take in his surroundings, then burrowed himself further into Goro’s chest, safely between Goro’s body and the back of the couch.

“Akira?” Goro questioned.

“...I don’t feel safe…” Akira whispered after a moment. “That’s why I couldn’t sleep last night. He… He was in my head. I don’t know what’s a nightmare or what’s him anymore.”

That hurt to hear more than Goro had expected. This was his rival. His equal. And this was what had become of him. “I hate him for doing this to you,” he said, relaxing into the comfortable weight of Akira on top of him again. There was no malice in his tone; it was hard to be angry when he was warm and still shaking off a haze of sleep. “We’re safe here. This is _my_ space.”

Akira offered him a tiny smile. “Lavenza’s title for you is accurate,” he mumbled. “It’s kind of nice to feel like the prince for once…”

It took a second, but then it clicked, and Goro knew he was turning red. “Shut up, _Trickster_. No taunts before I’ve had coffee.”

“I’ll make the coffee,” Akira offered. Then, pointedly, “And it wasn’t a taunt, _my Knight_.”

Goro sighed exaggeratedly, unwilling to admit how happy it made him to be bantering like this. Having Akira back was like a balm on a gaping wound. It was going to take a while for Akira to get back to his full strength after being out of practice for six months, but they would get there. Together.

“If you’re offering, I would appreciate properly-made coffee. I have a small grinder and a set of filters, and I stole a jar of Blue Mountain from Leblanc.”

“Goro!”

Goro scoffed. “Maruki just replaced it, I’m sure.”

Akira rolled his eyes, pushing himself up from the couch and finally seeming to realize the position they’d fallen asleep in. He looked away quickly, but on his way to the kitchen to investigate Goro’s coffee setup, he asked quietly, “While I’m here, can we… share the bed? Just for now. I think that I’ll… I think I’ll sleep better if you’re there.”

Akira wasn’t looking at him, but Goro could imagine the expression on his face. A look that he alone could wipe away, with the right words.

“Yeah. I’ll be there to wake you up again, if I have to.”

Akira glanced back at him and smiled.


End file.
